Are People Taking You For Granted?

Do you feel that your goodness is working against you? You are loving, caring, sincere, loyal, hardworking, dependable, trusting, as well as trustworthy. All these good qualities in you make you a likeable person and to many you are the most available person who can help them whenever they want any help. They depend on you for every little thing and then they forget to include you in their life. What happens later is worse and it hurts a lot. It is a cycle of done, dusted, and discarded after you have helped them. Hmm, I know it hurts and hurts a lot, doesn’t it?

However, the goodness in you does not let you stop from helping the same people who have little regard for you. Their aim is to get their interests taken care of. You will feel hurt when you are excluded from their life in spite of all that you do for them. The worst is yet to come - they will back out when you need their help. That hurts more.

Have you wondered why do they do so? And how can you stop them from taking you for granted? Since you cannot change your nature, how can you remain immune?

You have to keep your sanity intact and that means you have to equip yourself with some tools to help you. You need a security shield like an antivirus. This will come as some tools that you can deploy.

Let us look at these tools –

1. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR SELF-RESPECT.

Your self-respect defines who you are and it is not something to be compromised with. Being good is nice but your self-respect is to be kept in sight. Don’t allow anyone to cross it.

Have you over the years made people’s expectations so high with your good nature that you have not realised the harm it has done to you. To counter this we have our next Principle, the second Principle.

2. HAVE CLEAR BOUNDARIES FOR YOUR SURVIVAL.

You cannot be scared of voicing your expectations. Don’t shy away thinking that others may not like it. You are not a people pleaser. You are a self-respecting individual. Let people know how much you can help and mark your boundaries. It is okay to refuse to help and you can do it often. Don’t worry about making your boundaries known.

3. CREATE HEALTHY EXPECTATIONS

Do only what you possibly can. When you overdo things, you are increasing the expectations of people, and that is unhealthy. You do one task today, they will expect two tomorrow and gradually they will start demanding as if it’s their birth right. Sounds BAD and it actually is bad. Do not overdo anything. Keep it simple. Don’t overcomplicate your life.

4. MAKE A CHOICE BETWEEN YOUR PEACE OF MIND AND HURT

If you want peace of mind and happiness, then you will have to put your foot down and let others know that you are not available to help them. You cannot and should not choose to hurt at all. If anyone feels bad it is their problem not yours. What would you prefer – someone feeling bad for a day or you hurting for the rest of your life? The choice is clear. You should not be hurting for life. It is okay to have a day or a week of someone throwing a tantrum if it is going to give you a lifetime of peace. It is perfectly okay and human to do so.

5. TAKE A BREAK FROM HELPING

Just give up helping for a day or couple of days and see how good you feel. You may be hounded by your guilt or the excessive need to help or even that feeling you get when you feel that others are dependent on you and you have to help. Just switch off all those feelings and give yourself a cooling period. This is your HELP FREE time. You will realise how much peace and time you have been missing in your life. Once you have taken this break, do it often.

Remember that people take you for granted because you allow them to do so. The day you don’t allow them, they will stop taking you for granted and you will stop hurting.